Relationships and Happiness Blog 5

     Tal Ben-Shahar speaks about love and sacrifice, where someone gives up something essential to their happiness in order to be with another person. In my experience, I believe that so many people make that mistake in practically giving up so much of themselves to make the other person happy. A lot of people struggle with being able to keep their partner happy, as well as remaining happy themselves. I believe it’s so true when people say “How can you make someone else happy, when you, yourself, are not?”. If we are not content with ourselves, and are able to sacrifice a part of us for someone else, how long can we really stay happy in the relationship?
     I was once in a relationship where I did almost everything to keep my boyfriend happy. The relationship started out great, but later on the deeper in love I fell, the more vulnerable I became. I basically became a whole new person, just to try and be the perfect girl for him. My family and friends are the most important thing in my life, but at the time, he came first to me. I even did things like push my family to the side for him. My relationships with everyone else were fading because of the changes I made to be with him. I, also, became submissive and allowed him to walk all over me because I was afraid that standing up for myself would cause an argument bad enough to make him leave me. So many people, I see, whether it be my friends, or just hearing stories, do the same. They become this whole new character in order to keep what they have a fear of losing. Love isn’t about changing yourself to suit his/her needs. If you feel as if you need to change something to be with someone, then maybe it isn’t worth it. I came to that realization a year after, and after seeing me for who I really was, he couldn’t stand it. That’s when I knew that he wasn’t worth it, and that I would never make that same mistake again.
     Many people go through life searching for that one person who will love them unconditionally, and make them happy. Someone they can feel comfortable around who can be there best friend and their lover. I used to be one of those people who believed that I needed to find a guy that will love me for me in order to be happy. Now I know that being with somebody is not what happiness is all about. Romantic relationships can be very complicated, and a lot of people fail to see that. I have seen so many, besides myself, feel trapped in relationships, and feel as if there’s no way out. We make the mistake in focusing so much of our time trying to find someone that will make us happy, and we fail to see, and appreciate, who we have around us already.